The 7 days a week variety...week after week

Whilst I sit waiting for my client to call after his big pow-wow with his client (it's the phone call that will impose my next unrealistic deadline BY SATURDAY May 10th) I decided to Google "deadline".

dead·line

noun \-ˌlīn\

: a date or time when something must be finished : the last day, hour, or minute that something will be accepted.

BORING!!!!! How can such a calm little sentence impart the sheer insanity of deadlines?

NOT TO WORRY. Here's where it gets interesting:

Full Definition of DEADLINE

1.  a line drawn within or around a prison that a prisoner passes at the risk of being shot.

Well butter my buns and call me a biscuit, that would be the line outside my front door. I’m sure clients hire marksmen to position themselves around my house.

I swear the other day I went out to get the mail and there was a red dot on my chest the whole time.

GET BACK IN THE HOUSE WOMAN AND GET TO WORK!

Here is a helpful little chart to show the love affair we're developing with deadlines.

I'm not sure why anyone would want to know what rhymes with deadline but these internet sites are just so darn helpful. Let us examine a few they offer.

Rhymes with DEADLINE

assign, beeline, benign, bloodline, blush wine , feline, waistline, white wine, shoreline, tumpline,

Oh, I get it:

1. Assign: as in you are getting assigned another deadline. I'M A FREAKIN' POET!
2. Beeline and bloodline: as in my blood/line is making a rapid beeline through my heart valves and driving my blood pressure up.
3. Benign: as in there is nothing benign about a deadline. sigh. Pure poetry.
4. Blush wine: as in enough of this softens the blow of crossing the deadline outside my front door.
5. Feline: as in you thought I'd forgotten this blog was also about cats!
6. Waistline: as in the thing that expands when you sit too much due to deadlines.
7. White wine: as in the thing that gets consumed too much due to too many deadlines.
8. Shoreline: as in the thing I haven't seen in months even though I live a few minutes from it.
9. Tumpline: as in the definition of this makes my head hurt just like deadlines do.

tump•line

a sling formed by a strap slung over the forehead or chest and used for carrying or helping to support a pack on the back or in hauling goods.

WHAT? Oh come on...you know I'm gonna Google images for this.

THIS IS WHAT DEADLINES FEEL LIKE!!

Here's a tip buddy:

USE THE DARN AX AND CUT YOURSELF FREE!

Why is this man smiling?

This one just makes me sad. Someone needs to show him Harry Potter so he can flee his captors on that broom.

If I don't get out and cross that deadline outside my front door, my legs will cease working and I will have to be carried around with a tumpline.