Oh, Dear… • 6 Comments

The Kreatrix • January 19, 2015

The Chairman is Very, Very Needy Right Now

Well, friends, times are tough here at Catberry Tails headquarters. The Kreatrix is very hard at work making everybody but Catberry Tails look good (hellloooo dastardly clients!).

My dear sweet Chairman has gone a bit off the deep end. Apparently, it started when he woke the Kreatrix up one morning after a late night of work. He peeled open her eye lid and asked:

"s'up? I need to get a jump on my tasks for the day!"

And she mumbles:

"..m'kay. Find out if birds fart and do we need to whiten our cats teeth."

Now. You and I can clearly see she was not yet fully awake. HOWEVER. Chairman took it to heart and started googling the whole bird poot thing. Oy vey.

I'd post a few youtube things he found but I'd rather just instruct you to go to Youtube and search "do birds fart". Humanity is doomed.

Chairman needed to decompress and so he sought out the services of Dr. Rascal, shrink extraordinaire.

Rascal is a very good listener BUT Chairman had a TREMENDOUS amount on his little mind.

The Chairman, a soft sculpture cat doll, lays on a sofa with his hand over his forhead. He is not smiling. — The Chairman tells of his woes...

He told of Kreatrix' strange requests and how he still doesn't have his driver's license and now the lines are sooooo long at the DMV because a lot of new people are getting drivers' licenses and he can't find anyone to pay to stand in line for him. He went into great detail about MY (Ginger) "demands" and how he didn't understand them (MEN!) and did we mention his driver's license?

Dr. Rascal, good as he is, apparently couldn't keep up and ...well, the Chairman noticed it was very quiet...so he sat up.

And saw this:

That's right. Dr. Rascal fell asleep!

At first, the Chairman was most upset and had to feed the curse jar. He went a bit off the deep end and sort of, kind of, maniacally started putting stuff on Dr. Rascal's head:

We ALLLLL heard the evil laughter and came to see what was happening.

Of course, we HAD to help.

Kreatrix came to see what the commotion was about and she, also, had to help.

Eve wanted to get a selfie since she is practicing extending her arm and getting the sweet spot:

And so, we have discovered that not only is Rascal a good listener but he is a very sound sleeper.

Chairman laughed so much he became happy and I told him he had an endorphin high. Currently, he's searching our house for the dolphin because he wants to swim with one. Dorphin. Dolphin. We're just happy he's got something to do while the Kreatrix is busy with other boring stuff.

Toodles! Mwah! More later!

Love Ginger,

Feline Reporter Extraordinaire!

Are the Chinese listening in? • 8 Comments

The Kreatrix • January 8, 2015

One of Catberry Tails beloved followers alerted me to the fact comments could not be left on the post below, And Then It Was 2015..

I, the Kreatrix, have attempted to fix the link but SOMEBODY BROKE IT! I wonder who...Hmmmmm.

So...if you'd like to comment on that post, please do so here!

Purrs!

The Kreatrix

And then it was 2015…

The Kreatrix • January 8, 2015

Interesting times around here, folks-

Today, January 7th, the Kreatrix woke up and announced she was now ready for Christmas.

M'kay. Well, Kreatrix:

Stick a fork in it cause it is DONE. Fried. Come n' gone in a heated rush. Like a low flying bug on a car windshield, like yesterday's bubblegum on the bottom of your shoe, like-

Somebody stop me!

And don't tell anyone...shhhhh...

but the Christmas trees are still up...shhhhh...

Poor Kreatrix. One of those dreaded beasts we hear her call "clients" had a "semi-urgent" job that partway through turned into

oh my sweet patooty, slimy, lizard skin coated butt shenanigans YOU (the Kreatrix) have to get this job done even earlier!!!

Wanna know why Kreatrix had to work all through the holidays?

Because China is taking a 3 week break coming up in February for their New Years!

How nice for them.

Three weeks.

Three. Not days. Weeks. And stuff has to get printed and loaded onto the ships bound for Long Beach, CA so they can take a vay - cay - shun.

All designs were finished uploading to China on Tuesday the 5th. Here's a little peak at some of the ~~evil~~ pretty artwork that made her client so happy he called her a miracle worker.

Ok. So that was nice to hear but it kinda wasn't a miracle from what we witnessed because she never left the computer...she worked really, very, very hard...every day...Saturdays and Sundays and everything in between.

Behold, pretty storage boxes shaped like books:

Giant big storage boxes (showing lid and flap only):

But wait! There's more!

Liquid soap labels using the same elements from the large projects:

There's more!!!! Three pack soap boxes, pyramid shaped boxes, two pack soap boxes, single bar soap boxes. Whew!

So...

BELATED HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of our Catberry Tails fans!! You mean the world to us!!

By the way...2015 is the Year of The Ram. Hmmmm. I'm afraid to hear what the Kreatrix has to say 'bout that.

Happy Holidays! • 7 Comments

The Kreatrix • December 23, 2014

Santa Has Entered The Building!

Remember this?

Yep. Twas for me. And I was told to pick my own "Elf Assistant"

sigh

Ok...so I wasn't real happy about it at first (as you'll see in the video below).

BUT

When I knew the ladies got to sit on my lap...well...

Naturally, Kreatrix is on a massive deadline that has made liquid spew from her eyes and she's frothing at the mouth saying things like

"It's Christmas for foo-foo sakes"

P.S. She didn't say foo-foo. Sometimes she has a potty mouth and my curse jar loves her.

Happy Holidays everyone!!!!

The Chairman cat doll is in a santa suit meant for dogs. It is obvious by his photoshopped frown that he is not happy. — Santa and his Elf Assistant

Uh oh • 5 Comments

The Kreatrix • December 16, 2014

I've Got A Very Bad Feeling About This

Yes. Yes, I do.

Let's all just take a deep breath and send healing energy my way.

In the meantime, I am going to watch this again and again, because it makes me laugh. I need to laugh.

Further Evidence She’s From Another Planet • 6 Comments

The Kreatrix • December 8, 2014

m'kay, people...this thing appeared in our front yard IN THE MIDDLE of a plant that has done nothing but sit there as long as I've been alive.

It's at least TEN FEET TALL!

What? Did the Kreatrix plant some magic beans and now some big hairy giant dude is gonna come down and get me?

Seriously...this is some interplanetary species the Kreatrix has imported from her home planet.

She came inside from photographing her alien plant and left these on her desk.

ALIEN EGG PODS!

I let out a little scream which paled in comparison to the scream that came from down the hallway at the same time.

We all went running and found Bandit with some body parts.

Kreatrix looks at me and hisses

Didn't you tell him?

I whimpered back

I didn't tell him, I thought you did. And you shouldn't leave body parts lying around!

Well, well, well...seems somebody slipped up and neglected to explain to Bandit how we "come to be". Ya know, how we get hatched/stitched/birthed.

First we had to pry the limb from his grasp.

And then Kreatrix had an idea to get him to let go. She left the room while I talked softly to him.

I gasped when she entered the room with the alien egg pods!! Nooooooo.

She explained to him he needed to watch over these until they were "ready".

READY!!! Ready FOR WHAT?????!!!! Hey Kreatrix, you left that part out!

And now Bandit is filled with purpose.

Last I checked he had Ginger sitting on them to keep them warm.

I had to get some air, so I went out on the back patio and found this.

Is this what hatches out of the pods? I...I...

I needed to lay down, so I came indoors and this appeared:

What the...

Apparently, I passed out and am now resting comfortably far away from the alien egg pods and that bad Santa dude.

The Most Non-Excellent Adventure • 6 Comments

The Kreatrix • December 2, 2014

#1 Tip For Felines

If you see this come out:

RUN! HIDE! Do NOT think it's a cool little cat bed and go inside for a nap, MELVIN.

I for one have vivid memories of what happens when I deal with one of these. You can check out that misadventure here.

Melvin was the first to leave for his "Spa Day".

Right. Clueless.

He had to have four teeth pulled. And if that wasn't enough, he comes home and Wally doesn't recognize him. Two days of hissing, chasing and spitting.

Melvin, the real life cat, gives Wally the stink-eye. — Melvin gives the Wally the stink-eye...

No amount of butt-sniffing could convince Wally that Melvin is the same buddy he has been playing with for several years.

Wally sniffs Melvin's butt. — Wally goes in for another sniff...

Wally ruled the roost while Melvin hid wondering what he'd done wrong.

Wally is resting in front of a roaring fire in a very comfy chair. — Hey Wally...where's Melvin?

And then...

It was Wally's turn. Wally's "Spa Day".

You'd think he would have figured something was up when he didn't get his bedtime snack. You'd think he would have REALLY figured it out when he didn't get his breakfast. Here's a tip Wally:

FASTING isn't always a good thing!

Oh, lordy. Wally was crying and begging. Then he eyed the freshly decorated tree with a look on his face of:

This tree is goin' down unless you feed me NOW!

FINALLY Melvin sees the dreaded formerly cool cat bed by the front door. Check out his face.

Notice the position of the ears. Yup. Spa Day my pahtooty. That is a look born from experience, people. Melvin KNEW. There is no Spa.

Uh-huh. Well, check out this video:

Long story short, Wally comes home minus 3 teeth and voila! Melvin ain't so bad after all.

Sheesh. And if things couldn't get any more weird, check out the resident kitty at the veterinarian's office:

Apparently she has a very bad skin condition where it tears easily. She has to stay dressed like this so she doesn't hurt herself.

I like how she's doing a mental probe on Santa up there.

Fork over a treat mister magic-reindeer-sleigh-flying-knows-everyone's-wish-list-jolly-man-in- red.

Kreatrix took pity on her and fished a treat out of Santa's head for her. M'kay, I'm gonna leave you with that visual.

A Rockstar Has Joined Catberry Tails • 6 Comments

The Kreatrix • November 25, 2014

Dear Rascal,

You are quite the character! A little rough around the edges and with eyes that are making the Catberry Tails girls swoon.

And you are the first to break in our new bench! What a flea market find this was! And so beautifully reupholstered by Rosa Renae Martel of Heart & Soul Antiques On The Go here in Southern California. Yay Rosa!

I tried something different with you, Rascal...heavier fringe around the eyes, more hand sewn detail and a padded nose. I felt you needed to look more like a rascally tom cat.

However, you ended up looking a bit more like a rockstar.

Bandit and Penny have really bonded with you. Especially Penny! We all noticed the hand holding.

You have a frayed belly patch and the cutest little nipples.

And those feet!!

The Chairman is very pleased with your confidence and "hotness" (his word, not mine).

The Chairman sits on the bench with Rascal. — The Chairman and Rascal

I loved bringing you to life! You will also be going for a ride in the World Dominationmobile along with Penny and Bandit!

With Love,

The Kreatrix

Clearly She’s Off Her Rocker • 5 Comments

The Kreatrix • November 18, 2014

Oh Look! It's a...It's a...

Colorful, explosive thingy.

Kreatrix blew in the door over the weekend all excited over treasures she found for me from what appears to be her home planet. This time she said her planet is named planet Estate Sale.

Seriously. Does this not look like otherworldly terrain? Kreatrix was hyperventilating while taking photos saying things like

"...fall into a giant vat of colors...what a way to go...look at the explosion of the color wheel..."

Ewwwkay.

As if one wasn't enough, there are two.

Bandit liked this one and hauled it off to his room.

She swore you all would enjoy these photos so don't blame me.

HOWEVER. It is my job to figure out what to do with them.

Kreatrix suggested

"You all are a little uptight. You might want to try meditating on them."

Fine.

Bandit kept saying

"om, ooooommmm, auuummmm"

Which really annoyed me and got in the way of quieting my monkey mind.

Kreatrix looked at us and said

"Soft eyes, gentlemen! Don't stare so hard."

After 60 very long seconds of hearing Bandit's hum song and my eyes burning like heck I gave up.

And then the final straw snapped my little back when the Kreatrix handed me this.

Are those reindeer? And if so, what the heck is the dude on the left doing to the one on the right?

The thing on top is kinda nice.

Okay. So I rather like this. I think I'll keep it. Kreatrix really loves it.

There is a certain familiarity to the crazy rug-type yarn things. They remind me of Kreatrix' hair and how it is never calm and sometimes she has to feed my curse jar when she looks in the mirror.

See what I mean?

In Stores Now! • 4 Comments

The Kreatrix • November 14, 2014

And going fast...

by Ginger, feline reporter extraordinaire

Hello fellow cat people! Kreatrix is hard at work on a new assignment for a client (boo hiss), so our World Domination Community expansion has come to a screeching halt! Chairman is NOT happy. She has a habit to support. A habit of building cat dolls.

The Kreatrix was doing some trend shopping and spied a few pieces of work she'd done for a client. She bought some samples home. They'd already sold most of the stock, so it was slim pickings!