Apparently, this is a very powerful King because he can harness unseen energies! AAAANNND he let me help while doing his Kingly duties of "Electrical Repair and Engineering"! Whew. Impressive.
The Royal family kept making jokes about this unseen electrical energy flying around the house in search of me so I got my new mat from Candie and sat on it for protection.
I remained brave!
While one Prince was helping fix a socket, the other Prince actually gave me his video camera to use.
I like to call the Prince with all the cameras Sir Princerazzi because he loves to take pictures. Unlike the Kreatrix, I don't run away when his camera comes out. I LOVE when he takes my picture.
The King is one cool Dude. He calls me Mister Chairman and he likes to pet the real life cats, too. He even let Wally hang out with us.
Wally was rude and refused to get off the table, so both the Princes had to move it while he was on it.
I'm just glad we all survived the Kings powers and that he didn't get overly stressed or angry at any of us whilst displaying his magical abilities.
Don't tell the Kreatrix but awhile back I sort of quietly, without-her-knowing-about-it, sent some of her old plastic shopping bags to a reader of this very blog! Hi Candie!! Candie makes mats out of used plastic bags for homeless humans to sleep on. Ginger and I thought that was so cool.
Well.
I got this box today and it was addressed to me!
It had a letter!! ALSO ADDRESSED TO ME!! I...I...I'm stumpified.
The bags I accidentally misappropriated (ew, big word) and sent to Candie got made into a mat for a homeless human and so she made me one as a thank you.
I...I...I'm overwhammied.
Fine. I cried.
Ginger telling me my tears will smear the awesome letter so snap outta it...
Look at this:
I. Love. It.
Kreatrix snuck up on me in the backyard as I was napping in her hammock.
Awesomeness! I am one rockin' it cool cat.
Look out Candie cause we're gonna back a truck up to your house. Here they come!
Hello my munchkins! Ginger, Feline Reporter on assignment. The Chairman prepared this evidence for you concerning just how far off "the deep end" our beloved Kreatrix has gone. But then, we still think she might be communicating with alien visitors from another planet. Check it out here and here.
If you don't want to see an ugly little worm get consumed by a cute little critter, don't watch this.
Kreatrix has been far too busy with clients changing their minds AFTER projects have been uploaded to China and are ALREADY in production.
AND
Since she won't let me protect her with a hammer...
...I got bored and snooped around the house. Here is what I found:
Speechless, I am.
I looked for a tag to tell me which far flung place on Planet Earth this…thing…came from. Maybe it came from the Kreatrix home planet.
Seriously. Look at its face.
Dude and I dragged it down the hall and into the Kreatrix office where she was hunched all googly-eyed over the computer screen. I told Dude he should ask her nicely (i.e. I wasn’t going to be the one to interrupt her work).
Dude has discovered selfies. Heaven help us...
So Dude sez:
“What the heck is this darn thing?”
Kreatrix glances at us with a scowl:
“It’s a cat. I made it many, many years ago. From a pattern I bought at the store.”
Of course, I just had to burst out laughing and go all "look at me, I'm a stand up comic":
It looks like a cross between a rabbit and a cat. Hello little CRABBIT! HAHAHAHA. And its arms look like "Hey, Sugar Ray, where's your boxing gloves?" MWAHAHAHAHA.
It occurred to me that no one else was laughing. Dude was all wide-eyed staring at the Kreatrix.
I'm such an idiot.
But soft, she speaks:
“That’s not polite. I simply wasn’t ready to use the Force, Luke!”
Oh, lord. Not again. Google here I come.
“The Force is described by the great Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi as an energy field created by all living things; it surrounds and penetrates living beings and binds the galaxy together.”
There's more!
“The Force can enhance natural, physical and mental abilities…”
Woah. So the Kreatrix is a Jedi Master?
Later that afternoon I kept staring and staring at her and then from behind her computer screen she says:
“I sense a disturbance in the Force.”
I couldn’t stand it any longer:
“WAS I MADE FROM A STORE PATTERN?! I screamed with all my little heart.
Now she laughs.
“Nope. By the time I made you and the others, I had grown wiser. I did away with the rules and used the Force instead.”
Okay, then. Sounds all kinda spooky. Then the Kreatrix said I needed to lighten up and she showed me this video.
Hey. I'm going to call this thing Yoda. See the resemblance?
Here's the best part. Look how far Kreatrix has come with her Jedi training:
Well. Somebody abandoned a "sweet piece of mid-century modern awesomeness" (Kreatrix' words) by the roadside. Kreatrix and Prof crammed it into their automobile.
Here it is before she did anything to it:
Nothin' a good wash-up, teak oil and wax won't take care of...
Of course, The Chairman, Melvin and Wally wanted to go for a ride on it.
Brace yourselves, humans, cause here is what it looks like now:
Be still my heart...
AND LOOK! Frankencat has his own mid-century furniture:
He tried to show us on his globe of planet earth where the royal family lives.
AND I can hardly wait to meet them. As I understand it, they are related to us on the Prof's side of the family. Apparently a King and a Prince are coming.
Oh, my...those colors up there look very tart. Hurts my eyes. They don't look like that in the "for reals" world. Have you heard that phrase lately? It usually occurs alongside "adorbs". Hmmmm.
There's more but it all looks like a jumble to me...so it's probably a snoozer to you. Definitely NOT "adorbs".
Back Friday with hopefully something more interesting. OH WAIT! That's a holiday!
Will Kreatrix take that day off? Kreatrix doesn't know what "day off" means.
In the meantime, back to uploading my files to China so they can print them up for my client. And yes, I wish the printing and manufacturing of the products could stay stateside. That's another whole discussion.
The Prof and I scored a monstrous, uber comfortable chaise off Craig's List some years back. His Royal Highness wants more room in his office so the chaise had to go. We had two choices:
Get rid of it ("but it's soooooo comfortable")
Park it in the yard like some poor trailer-park yazoos who feel indoor furniture works outdoors!
I kinda took a wee liking to point number 2 above. YEEHAH! Imagine this:
Now we're talkin'!
HOWEVER.
The Prof has family a-comin' fer a visit, so's we gotta levitate our minds outta that cesspool. I 'recken The Prof doesn't wanna scare off his kinfolk. So I gits it in my noggin' to cover the dang thing so's it looks respectable out back like some purdy piece of high-falootin' spensive patio furniture that look like it t'were meant ta be there and not a trashy substitute. But.
ARGH! I'm not wanting to slip cover that monstrosity! I'm short on time. I don't wanna sew. I wanna snap my fingers and have it done. Quickly. On a budget.
Enter the fabulous drop cloth and all the necessary supplies.
Yep. Wine. Good pain killer in case the staple gun goes awry or a cat gets trapped under the cloth and fangs his way outta there with all ten claws a churnin'.
P.S. I'm so envious of those blogs with tutorials in which they show the supplies they used for their DIY projects and show step by step instructions. They're all over Pinterest and YouTube. Sigh. Maybe one day I'll join the big leagues.
I am a heavy beast capable of cradling you into deep sleep.
Things started getting a little blurry 'bout now. Staple gun musta gone awry and I 'reckin the wine came inta play.
Wally tried to ply me with his feline wares. But I remained strong and steadfast!
Glory be!
I am almost done! AND.
No sewing machines were harmed in the making of this DIY project!
Still got me more staples to shoot in the dang thang and loose ends to tie up. Then I hose her down with fancy dirt and water repellant.
Photos to follow of it's purdified placement on the fancy lookin' patio out back.
Dang I love faking it. Just don't look under anything. Not the cushion. Not the whole chaise. The presentin' part is purdy but the under-belly 'ain't so sweet.
Don't know if'n I'm a genius or just plain lazy.
By the way, is it just the wine talkin' or does that dang pillow look like a cat?
