A Lesson in "Things Are Not As They Seem"

Kreatrix likes horses, so I asked her if I could have one.

Voila!

There's one problem. I can't make it move. Where's the button? I mean, I look cool and all but shouldn't this thing move forward?

So Kreatrix is taking this photo and, not wanting to give away my complete ignorance when it comes to horses, I quietly remarked

He's a bit lazy...doesn't seem up to going for a ride today.

Kreatrix gets this sweet look on her face like she feels just a little sorry for me. She says

Aww. Here, let me help.

She comes up behind me, wraps her hands under the horses belly, makes him levitate inches above the ground, and says in my ear

cloppity clop, clop, cloppity clop, clop...

She sets me down six feet further and takes this picture.

I exclaimed loudly

I wasn't born yesterday, ya know!!

Her sweet reply?

I know exactly when you were born. I made you.

But wait, there's more! She told me several weeks ago she was taking classes with someone named Shibori and is learning to Pole Dance and is going to die!

Well, well, well...I Googled Pole Dance and I was furious with her when she returned home. Not nice, Kreatrix. Very uncool.

Wait for it.

She gets that same darn sweet "so-sorry-for-you" expression and shows me this photograph.

I did NOT calm down because I thought she was showing me what she wore while - you know - doing her dancey routine.

I. Am. So. Lame.

This is fabric she is learning to dye (not die) in a technique called Shibori that involves pole wrapping NOT pole dancing.

Here is what her "costume" looked like once she dyed it.

The good news is, she's making my community out of this fabric!!! WOOT! Stay tuned for photos! That's silk velvet up there, folks. Very soft and cuddly.

Here's another style made by folding fabric and dying it.

AND this, too!

While nursing my wounded ego in the back yard with my lazy horse, I found this dude.

Whatcha think?

The very nice lady who teaches Kreatrix how to do pole wrapping and dying (not die and not pole dance) can be found here and here. I am told she is a very wise and talented woman who has lived all over the world and imparts wisdom to students of all ages!