This Vintage iMac Will Not Defeat Me

Before we get started, let’s just get this out there for the spiderbots looking for today’s keywords: Vintage iMac, vintage iMac, vintage iMac.

Ok. It is my understanding that some of you aren’t sure I can handle the weaponry needed to carry out my plan. I assure you, I can.

HOWEVER, just to be safe I began by letting Wally, Melvin and Rudy out the front door.

JOKING! I closed them up in the back room. Sheesh. You’ll believe anything.

Immediately, I had to ditch the safety goggles. What’s so safe about ‘em if you can’t see what you’re doing?

I was determined to hack into this baby, so I tried a lot of this:

I could feel my frustration mounting but I kept on.

And kept on…

Nothing worked! I even tried the added weight of my cat laying on me.

“I have deadlines to meet, people!!” I screamed as I pounded the vintage imac with my soft little paws.

And then I let slip with an apparently bad word and began sobbing.

Suddenly, I felt her presence.

“What did you say?” she said in her best Clint Eastwood growl.

oh, boy.

In a super sweet voice, I told her:

“um… ‘oh-stuff-you-find-in-the-kitty-pan’ I have deadlines to meet?”

Yah. That worked.

So this is her idea:

“Every time you say a bad word, you have to put some money in your piggy bank.”

I thought it sounded like a pretty sweet deal until she told me I couldn’t use any coins of hers. They had to come from my paycheck. I grabbed hold of myself and asked if I could have a list of objectionable words so I can plan ahead.

“Deal. Oh...Wally is feeling a little left out. Let's post a pretty picture of him,” she said.

Oh, horse doody. Fine.