The Chairman’s Car

Oh, Dear… • 6 Comments

The Kreatrix • January 19, 2015

The Chairman is Very, Very Needy Right Now

Well, friends, times are tough here at Catberry Tails headquarters. The Kreatrix is very hard at work making everybody but Catberry Tails look good (hellloooo dastardly clients!).

My dear sweet Chairman has gone a bit off the deep end. Apparently, it started when he woke the Kreatrix up one morning after a late night of work. He peeled open her eye lid and asked:

"s'up? I need to get a jump on my tasks for the day!"

And she mumbles:

"..m'kay. Find out if birds fart and do we need to whiten our cats teeth."

Now. You and I can clearly see she was not yet fully awake. HOWEVER. Chairman took it to heart and started googling the whole bird poot thing. Oy vey.

I'd post a few youtube things he found but I'd rather just instruct you to go to Youtube and search "do birds fart". Humanity is doomed.

Chairman needed to decompress and so he sought out the services of Dr. Rascal, shrink extraordinaire.

Rascal is a very good listener BUT Chairman had a TREMENDOUS amount on his little mind.

The Chairman, a soft sculpture cat doll, lays on a sofa with his hand over his forhead. He is not smiling. — The Chairman tells of his woes...

He told of Kreatrix' strange requests and how he still doesn't have his driver's license and now the lines are sooooo long at the DMV because a lot of new people are getting drivers' licenses and he can't find anyone to pay to stand in line for him. He went into great detail about MY (Ginger) "demands" and how he didn't understand them (MEN!) and did we mention his driver's license?

Dr. Rascal, good as he is, apparently couldn't keep up and ...well, the Chairman noticed it was very quiet...so he sat up.

And saw this:

That's right. Dr. Rascal fell asleep!

At first, the Chairman was most upset and had to feed the curse jar. He went a bit off the deep end and sort of, kind of, maniacally started putting stuff on Dr. Rascal's head:

We ALLLLL heard the evil laughter and came to see what was happening.

Of course, we HAD to help.

Kreatrix came to see what the commotion was about and she, also, had to help.

Eve wanted to get a selfie since she is practicing extending her arm and getting the sweet spot:

And so, we have discovered that not only is Rascal a good listener but he is a very sound sleeper.

Chairman laughed so much he became happy and I told him he had an endorphin high. Currently, he's searching our house for the dolphin because he wants to swim with one. Dorphin. Dolphin. We're just happy he's got something to do while the Kreatrix is busy with other boring stuff.

Toodles! Mwah! More later!

Love Ginger,

Feline Reporter Extraordinaire!

Halloween Is Coming! • 7 Comments

The Kreatrix • October 13, 2014

In Honor of Halloween

The Kreatrix took me to a scary place and I had to travel there in the darn pink shopping bag.

As you can see above, I WAS NOT HAPPY ABOUT THE BAG!

That said...I present to you the scary place I traveled to:

Seriously humans? I liked the dancing but that place is indeed scary. Kreatrix says humans like to hang out there.

Whatever floats your boat...

Ginger and I were going to go buy a pumpkin but this dude appeared outta nowhere in our backseat and there was no room for the pumpkin.

He looks oddly familiar. Ginger says he looks just odd. Nice guy, though.

We brought him home. We're keeping him. Kreatrix doesn't know, yet...SHHHH!

The World Dominationmobile Is Here! • 9 Comments

The Kreatrix • October 7, 2014

Born To Be Wild

But apparently wild will have to wait because you humans require things called license plates and drivers license. Sheesh!

Reminder. Here is our World Dominationmobile on its worst day.

And here it is SMOKIN'

HOWEVER

Due to said minor detail of license and license plate, the only driving I'm allowed to do is on the Kreatrix driveway...

All 10 feet of it

I am now an expert at backing up and pulling forward.

Dude edited together the rather repetitive footage Kreatrix shot due to my INABILITY TO GO OUT ON THE STREET. Dude almost made it look good.

That’s Dude in the center down there. Obviously smarter than he looks.

Sherlock got to ride in the passenger's seat just before he left for his big fancy gig for the Stray Cat Alliance. He's in Los Angeles right now and will soon travel to Brentwood. Hope it doesn't go to his head.

Enjoy our drive backwards and forwards and backwards and forwards...sigh. So close and yet so far.

What’s Rome Got To Do With My Car? • 7 Comments

The Kreatrix • April 1, 2014

Sooooo. Here’s the HOOD OF MY CAR, my beloved World Dominationmobile…

...hold me back. And. As you’ve seen much, MUCH earlier…I do have the seats covered.

I tell the Kreatrix.

“Righto…love the color BUT WHERE’S THE REST OF THE CAR?”

Know what she says?

“Rome wasn’t built in a day, little buddy.”

What?

For real?

What!!?

YOU HUMANS ARE KILLING ME!

I am spending waaaay too much time on Google these days. HOWEVER, I now know what "Rome wasn’t built in a day" means BUT-

This is Rome.

Not built in a day? REALLY? Well, I never…

Let me put some perspective into this equation:

If I may “drive” my point home, look what happens when you neglect Rome too much:

IT FALLS APART!

Eve 2.0. may have gotten crushed physically by a human hind quarters but I feel crushed emotionally.

I’m going to go bond with the hood of my car.

James Bondo, The Cat Dolls and The Dalai Lama • 4 Comments

Head Honcho • March 2, 2014

Finally one of us cat dolls gets control of the mouse!

Look at us. We are meditating! More on that later.

First order of business are photos from our annual retreat and our class on using Bondo.

Since it’s been soooo long (ahem) I will remind you of this:

That's right, this is what passes for our World Dominationmobile.

ANYWAY, the CEO and the Prof led the workshop which we held outdoors due to Bondo fumes and my delicate nature with said fumes.

Here I am sanding the Bondo after it dried.

And since I originally thought the Bondo workshop was going to be learning all about James Bond and how to be ultra sneaky, the Kreatrix put this together.

Laugh all you want. I look good!

As for us meditating. I was inspired by a comment from our fan Candie on the previous post. She suggested I “ponder the meaning of life” while waiting for the Kreatrix to get around to my stuff.

Have you ever Googled “what is the meaning of life”? WOAH.

I did find this guy with a very long name – His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama.

I decided I like him (Note to self: why is it people who wear robes all the time have so much power? Judges, Priests, Monks, Dalai Lamas...)

Check this out.

The Kreatrix and I LOVED this article. The story about the Dalai Lama riding the ski lift will make you smile AND he has something to say about the meaning of life!

Thank you Candie! This 007 cat doll is going to sit and meditate some more.

Retail Therapy Rocks! • 8 Comments

The Kreatrix • January 19, 2014

So This Is Where You Humans Go When You Leave The House

I decided to take matters into my own paws and saddled up for a brave mission. No more waiting to get supplies for my car!

I didn't get far before the Kreatrix came out, snatched me up and put me in a giant human car machine.

Somehow I don't think this is how the car machine works. She told me to help her steer so I did.

Five minutes later, she parked the car and picked me up saying:

"Are you ready for a grand adventure?"

WOAH!! This place was huge. It belongs to a lady named Joann Fabric.

I could hardly stand it! Awesomeness! Scariness! Lots of stuff to explore. Lots of people laughing...at me. Kreatrix said it was a good thing so I'm not going to worry about it.

I could see forever up there!